No happiness with(out) a price
by S3c3tPl4ce
Summary: A life as a Garrett Hawke was not a simple's one. Everyones seemed to get their hopes high on him. They were oblivious to his real feelings. Could he lived with their expectations? Could he ever find his happiness? MHawkeXFenris MHawkeXSebastian
1. Chapter 1

******A/N : Contains slash. A little twist here and there.** Also no beta-ed. Oh, and I don't own anything and I get nothing profitable from this.

**NO HAPPINESS WITH(OUT) A PRICE**

_Hold me_

_Teach me_

_Tell me what to do_

_But I'm not looking for a guide_

_I can't stand the light_

_Of the day outside_

_Feeling so cold inside your shadow_

_Watch me when I'm falling down_

_Step aside_

_Don't ask why_

_Let me down_

_Hit the ground_

_Bet you smile_

_Deep inside_

_ -Lacuna Coil, Kill the light-_

**Prologue**

He was not strong like everyone else believed him to be or expected him to be. As his father, Malcolm Hawke, passed away and the weight of responsibility toward his family's well being fell onto him, he tried to built his exterior, the image of him being all strong just for the sake of his family. And the fact of his nature being a mage was also the one that forced him to become strong to survive a possible threat from the Templars and Demons alike. So, along with times it was like a cursed mask for him, covering and hiding all his true feelings inside.

They did not know his fears or maybe they did not want to care, so he let them believed he was brave and unstoppable. They did not want to know that he was not some gods to bring them to a miracle but often he found them demanded more from him even after he had succeeded to save their sorry assess. They did not want to see the other part of him, the weak side of him which were capable of breaking and suffering from the heart breaks. They only wanted to see a Garrett Hawke, strong and tough like the walls of Kirkwall. They forgot that he had also a time limit and it only a matter of time until his outburst.

Then that time was happening. He saw a creature which was his _mother _before those bastard kidnapped her and recreated something that was made from women body parts that he believed were resembled his deceased wife. He saw red and no matter how many demons that the evil bastard called to kill him and his party, he disposed all of it. And when he had finally killed that disgusting blood mage and had his mother in his arms, all of his pretenses that he was so hard to build was begin to crack.

" I knew you would come..." His mother had told him with a sad eyes. He tried not to start shaking and worse crying but it was so hard when he looked at how pained and dispirited his mother actually was but she forced herself to smile at him and saying that she trusted him to come for her.

" Don't move mother. We will find a way to..." He needed to save her even though Anders had already told him that those bastard's magic whose keeping her alive, but he couldn't and did not want to believe that his mother was dying. He refused to do nothing to safe her. He rejected the fact that he was helpless once again to save his family from the clutch of death. First, his sister, Bethany, and now his mother. How could it be possible that he was able to save others people but not his own family?

" Shh. Don't fret darling..." His mother had shushed him gently. It was as if she had already welcomed death to come for her. But, he would not allow that. He wanted to save her.

"That man would have kept me trapped in here. But now...I'm free." His mother continued as her eyes began to dim slowly.

"I get to see Bethany again...and your father. But, you'll be here alone." She was right. He would be alone. Carver had left him to become his own man and also to become his threat, a Templar. Fenris had left him because his long forgotten past was coming so suddenly like a second blight to him and Fenris could not bear it while he was in presence of another. He knew that Fenris needed his time but why must he left him was still a misery to Garrett and that hurts. His friends also had their own bussiness. So, he was all alone. Even though loneliness was not a foreign concept to him but he was finally realized it through his mother's words that he still needed the company of others.

"I'll be fine, mother." He lied to her. He was never fine. It was just a facade. In fact he was ready to break.

"My little boy has become so strong." No! Don't say those cursed words. He was never be strong. He just pretended to be strong but in fact he was very fragile deep inside. Why was it that everyone always assumed that he was stronger and powerful? He was so sick of it.

" I love you. You've always made me so proud." It was her last words. It was sweet but as well heart breaking. He had always longed to hear it since his mother was always busy both with his siblings and their runaways so she didn't had a little time to tell him how much she loved him. But, to hear it when she was slowly closing her eyes to embrace her death was not something that he could be happy about.

"..." He could not reply her. He could not tell her that he loved her back. He just hung his head and watched her fading from the world of living. His friends were slowly gathering around him but he put no mind to their prescences. He was too overwhelmed by his grief and all of other feelings that he kept hidden all of this times. It was ready to come to the surface. But, he held it back. He would not had an emotional breakdown in front of his friends. So, he wore a mask of indifference and carried her body to their mansion.

He ignored and blocked away their looks of pity. He shrugged off Sebastian's offer to help him carry his mother. He did not want the concern that shone through Fenris's eyes. He did not need Anders to give him a comforting hugs. He did not need them. He just wanted to be alone and wallowing in his misery.

' _Bring her to life...I can help you..' _A dark voice had whispered inside his head. A demon. It knew that there was the side of him, a dark side of him who wanted to use every source possible to bring his mother back to life even though it was through the engagement with demons.

But, he shook his head and willed himself to stay rational. He might be a mage and he might be able to just give up into the temptation. But, he knew that it was not something that his mother wanted him to do. Also he was no better person than that bastard who killed her if he used the power of demon on her once more. He would only violated her for the second time and there was also no guarantee that she would remain the same person if he agreed with the demon. Moreover he did not want to lose his soul. He did not want to become an _abomination._

So, he would just trying to accept the fact that he had just losing another important person in his life's even though it was only broke him more. If his heart was made from the glass then maybe it was already scattered around in a tiny little pieces. He then wondered if he could be healed. He felt so tired. He felt so broken...so alone.

"Rest well...mother..." He had finally arrived on the mansion and brought his mother straight to her room's. Bodahn ,Orana and even Sandal were questioning him confusedly when they saw him coming with his mother's dead body in his arms. He ignored them and kept walking until he reached her bedroom's and put her body gently on the bed. He caressed her cold face softly and whispered brokenly to her that he wanted her to find her peace in the afterlife.

"Goodbye...mother..." He choked on his words when he bid his farewell...his last farewell to her. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He began to shake and then followed by an anguish cry. He cried and sobbing uncontrollably. He fell down and weeping with his head flat with the floors. He did not care if he wept like a crying baby. It was just too much for him.

He wanted to let it go for once. He wanted to feel human for once. He needed a time to grieve properly not like the one with Bethany's death. He could not let himself to mourn over the loss of his sister that time when the threat of darkspawns were in front of their very eyes. So, this time he wanted to be free. All of the pent-up emotions about his loss, his guilt, his sadness, his anger, his fear and disappointment were flooding along with his tears. He was crying until he could feel only numbness. He then allowed the numbness to become his medicine. He would be fine. He was stronger than anyone else. Wasn't he?

' _You are not strong. You failed your father. You are useless.' _A dark voice had whispered again to him in the back of his mind. He must agreed to this one. It was true. He had failed to protect his family. He failed his father. He was not strong. He was weak and useless. He had torn apart his family. He had no excuse this time. It was right.

"Yes, you're right. I am useless and there's nothing for me to be here anymore." He stood up and wiped his eyes roughly. If he was useless so there's no meaning of his life, right? Why not end it then? He would be free for all the pretenses and he would be happy to join his father, mother and sister up there. There was not a heavy weight on his shoulders anymore.

He then began to cast a fireball and he was ready to be consumed by the fire. This time he would welcomed death. He would not fight it! But then he was interrupted by a knock on the door's.

"Master? Your uncle was coming." Bodahn's voice could be heard from behind the door's as he announced his uncle's arrival, Gamlen.

"Tell him to wait for me and meet me in my study." He cursed silently. It was so close. Why Bodahn had to interrupt him? He sighed heavily and threw a last glance to his mother's still body before he stepped outside from her room's. It could be wait. His suicide mission could wait at least until his mother's funeral and he swore that there would not be an interrupption again.

_**To be continue...**_

_**A/N : Sorry, but I just want to say that it is my first time writing DA 2 fic. I am usually writing about K-POP stars. And I am still trying to find a beta and you know that it is not an easy task. So, please don't critize me so hard. And, I am also want to inform you that maybe my Hawke's here is a little bit dark and tortured. But, I am sick playing those game as a Hero with a little expression about his feelings. So, the result is this story. Thank you.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 01**

The conversations with Gamlen was brief and to the point. He had told Gamlen about Leandra's death. Gamlen was instantly became furious when he told him that he was too late to save her.

" So, you're to blame. If you'd been quicker or stronger, you could've...she could be..." Gamlen had left his mansion and probably on his way to tell Carver about the news of their mother's death, but the weight of his words still ringing on his ears. It burned him like an acid. Gamlen was right, if he was stronger maybe she could be still alive. Gamlen had pointed his failure and he was ashamed of it. Gamlen's words only depressed him more.

" I need a drink..." He slumped on his chair and groaned out loud when he felt his head was about to explode and his heart was always giving him a painful tugs. He needed to have a lot of drink to help him forget about the whole things for a bit. He then got up from his chair to retrieve a bottle of wine.

"Fenris..." He touched a bottle of wine which was a gift from Fenris but decided not to take it. He had enough heart breaks for one day and he didn't need another remainder of it. Thank you very much. So, he decided not to drink it and instead he headed back to his room's. Maybe a little wink of sleep was what he needed.

He could not sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of his mother dying in his arms was replaying back and forth like a torture. He sighed and got up from his bed but there was nothing he could do in the middle of the night, so he sat back down on his bed. He was about to wallow into his misery again when suddenly his door was being open by someone else. He thought that he had locked the door before or had he? He was surprised when he saw that it was Fenris who appeared like it was normal to visit a friend of yours in the middle of the night and not to mention in your friend's bedroom without so much a knock on the door.

_'Fantastic. He's what I need now.'_ He thought sarcastically when he eyed Fenris wearily. It seemed that Fenris became nervous under his gaze.

" I don't know what to say but I am here." Typical of Fenris, straight to the point. So, Fenris didn't know what to do or what to say but kept coming to see him? It was flattering but he had no energy now to respond to Fenris's concern. He was tired and he just wanted to be alone.

"I prefer to be alone." He flinched when he saw Fenris reaction to his words. It was hurting him although Fenris tried hard not to show it on his face but somehow he could see it clearly. He also felt bad about it. It was not his intent to sound harsh to Fenris. But, he could not help it. He would not want to drag Fenris into his sorrows. Fenris had enough of his own.

"I see...My apologize then..." Fenris replied hoarsely. Fenris then gave him a sad looks before he turned around and left his room's.

"..." He could not say anything. He could only staring at Fenris's retreating back and even after Fenris had left him, he was still staring morosely at the spot where Fenris had been standing before. He wished that he could wash that looks from Fenris's face. He just made the Elf sad. How could he hurting the one that he loved and sent him away? He was actually happy to see Fenris and to have a knowledge that Fenris cared for him. A part of him desired to envelope Fenris in his loving embrace and to forget everything by making love to him once more like that night. But, the other part of him was refused to do that. He had just losing his mother and it was because of he was weak. He didn't deserve Fenris. How could he protect Fenris if he could not even protect his own family?

"I feel like shit. Please, forgive me, Fenris..." He whispered sadly while he laid back his tired body on the bed. Tomorrow was his mother's funeral so it was best to get any sleep that he could get. So, he then forced himself to drown into sleep even though it was only filled with nightmares.

* * *

The funeral of his mother was simple and short. His friends were coming to attend the funeral. Some of the nobles also coming to give their fake sympathize but he put no mind to their presence. Carver and Gamlen also coming but strangely Carver didn't even try to blame him on their mother's death. Carver only gave him a sad smile and a comforting squeeze on his shoulders. Carver had matured. Carver became a mature man. He was proud of Carver. He smiled back at Carver and somehow Carver's acceptance of their mother's death had ease the pain in his heart a little.

"Thank you brother...and I am so..."

"No! Don't say that, big brother! I may punch you if you say that you're sorry. You've tried. I know how hard it was. So, listen to me, stop blaming yourself on everything that gone bad. It was not your fault. And I am sorry if I ever blamed you. I was immature back then." Carver's words were comforting him. He didn't know that Carver was capable of comforting someone. He didn't even know that Carver was actually understood him better. He was overwhelming with the feeling of acceptance from Carver and Carver's admittance toward his errors back then that he was almost crying right there in front of Carver.

"May I disturb this loving family moment's, gentlemen? It was about time for a burial of your mother." Varric suddenly appeared to tell them that it was the time for a burial of their mother's body. He was thankful of the interruption because he was almost wept like a baby in front of Carver.

"Oh, yes. Let's go, brother." Carver grabbed his right arm and together they watched the moment where they would see their mother for the last time. Carver had shed a lone tear while he saw their mother being buried.

"Rest in peace, mother..." Carver whispered softly.

"We'll miss you, mother." He added softly. Somehow he felt grateful that their mother's death not only bring the sadness over them but it also reunited him with Carver. He looked upon the sky and prayed that he would be strong enough to keep going like usual. Because he was still tempted to just end everything and closed his eyes. But, after Carver's acceptance and comforting manners, it seemed as if a curtain of darkness inside of him had been lifted up a little.

* * *

The following days after his mother's funeral were like a blurs to him. Oddly enough there were no missions for him to take. So, he opted to spend half of his days in the Blooming Rose, drinking and flirting with the elves there who only reminded him more of Fenris. After a while he got bored but he did not want to spend his times in his Mansion. The Mansion felt empty and cold without his mother. And he recalled that his friends also busy with their own business. So, in his drunken haze, he decided to go to the chantry. For what reason, he didn't understand himself. But, he had this sudden urge to seek comfort inside the Chantry even though he was no man of faith.

He then ended up in the Chantry until dark. He took a seat in a front rows while he took a gulp from the bottle of wine who he slipped inside his robes. He laughed like crazy as he gazed heatedly on the statue of the Maker.

"If You're here, show Yourself and tell me why You are so cruel to us? Is that because I am not your followers? But, why not spare my mother? She is Yours! Damn You!" He was somehow went to insults the Maker. He kept yelling and throwing tantrums in the Chantry. The sisters were already calling the guards but they could do nothing to him. He was a noble. They didn't dare to touch a noble. So, they let him made a fool of himself at least until he was tired or maybe passed out from his drunken stupor.

* * *

_Sebastian's POV_

"Thank the Maker, Sebastian, you're finally coming!" One of the sister, Sarah, was glad when she saw Sebastian just came back from his training.

"What? But, why..." Sarah cut him off quickly and steered him directly to where Hawke's slumping form could be seen in the front rows. Hawke still mumbling a curses to the Maker but the sisters were thankful that he was not yelling anymore.

"Hawke!" He was surprised to see Hawke there , drunk and miserable.

"He's your friend, right. Please, bring him out. He's violated the Maker and the Chantry enough. So, please Sebastian, bring him out." Sister Sarah asked him in a desperate pleas. He was too perplexes to reply her so he just nodded his head and approached Hawke slowly.

"Hawke, what are you doing here?" He asked Hawke as he sat beside the man. The smell of alcohol from Hawke made him scrunch his nose in disgust. Hawke turned his head to face him but it seemed he was too drunk to recognize Sebastian. Hawke only grinned drunkenly at him and muttering something about the Maker and His angel. He tried not to blush at Hawke's comments because he was well...drunk, right?

"Just, bring him home, Sebastian." Sister Sarah approached him and told him to bring Hawke home. Sebastian nodded at her and got up to help Hawke to get up as well. Hawke was struggling weakly but Sebastian ignored him and succeed to put Hawke's arms around him so Hawke would not be falling down.

"I am going, sister." He excused himself. He then went outside the Chantry with a drunken Hawke in tow. And thus begin his journey to Hawke's mansion. It was not easy considering that Hawke was not a light weighted man and not to mention that Hawke was also ready to puke anytime. He was almost considering to just leave Hawke there on the open street to teach him a little lesson not to drunk again. But, Hawke was his friend, so maybe another time?

"Master!" He was glad when they were finally arrived at Hawke's mansion for about half an hour or so he thought. They were then greeted by Bodahn's panic cries when he saw Hawke's limp form on his arms.

"What happened to my Master, Serrah Vael?" Orana asked him worriedly.

"It's clear that he's drunk and make a fool of himself in the Chantry." He answered her as he gestured for Bodahn to help him carry .

"We'll talk later, but for now let's help your Master to his room's then." He added quickly when he saw Orana about to question him more. Bodahn then helped him to bring Hawke to his room and lay Hawke down on his bed. Bodahn also helped him to change Hawke's in clothes and hurriedly excused himself when he saw that his Master had passed out.

"I'll leave as well. Goodb..." He was about to take his leave when suddenly Hawke grabbed his arm. It caught him off guard and made him stumble on top of Hawke. He tried to release himself from Hawke but unfortunately Hawke only tightened his grip on Sebastian's waist tightly.

"Let me go, Hawke! Hawk...Damn...you're being delirious,are you not?" He stopped in his attempt to remove himself from Hawke's arms when he noticed that Hawke was actually sleeping.

"S...so warm..." Hawke was mumbled in his sleep. It was kind of adorable in Sebastian's mind if he was not being trapped in Hawke's arms. Hawke was a strong man and Sebastian didn't even know it that Hawke was even more stronger in bed ( no pun intended ). Sebastian then blushed at the way he was thinking and at the position he was in. He was tucked under Hawke's chin and Hawke seemed to think that he was a pillow so Hawke was cuddling him now.

"Oh, Andraste, please help me." Sebastian was quickly praying and repeating the chant in his head when he was starting to enjoy Hawke's warm embrace.

It was not a secret to himself that Sebastian was actually interested in Hawke romantically. He often found himself jealous of Fenris who got more attention from Hawke than the rest of their party. So, sometimes he indulged Fenris in a friendly banters although his true intention was not friendly at all. He was angry that Fenris was the one who catch Hawke's eyes and not him. But, he was also often found himself in denial. He kept denying that he was attracted to a male and specifically to Hawke. And the fact that he belongs to the Chantry was also another problem for him. So, he opted to hide his dirty little secret just to himself and pretended to make Hawke believed that Sebastian only wanted his friendship while in truth Sebastian desired something more. He wanted Hawke's affection.

"Maker, please help me not to give into the temptation." He moaned lowly when he felt Hawke nuzzled his hair unconsciously. It was such a torture to him to be so close to the man he secretly desired but being helpless as well feared to do something that was forbidden for a chantry brothers like himself. Thankfully for about fifteen minutes his body decided to choose sleep over passion and he could feel his eyes getting heavy. So, he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. He ignored the fact that he was sleeping in Hawke's arms and in Hawke's bed. For just one night he wanted to dream what it would be like if he was truly living together with Hawke and pushed aside his guilt to the Maker. For one night it was just his and Hawke.

As for Hawke, he could be sleeping well without nightmares that night. Hawke also felt secured and warm for once. But, when the morning came, what would happen next with both of them?

**To be continue...**

**A/N : Please review, anybody? I need to know if I should continue this story or not. So, a little opinion,maybe? Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 02**

The morning was coming but Hawke and Sebastian were still sleeping soundly on the bed. Hawke had his arms wrapped securely on Sebastian's waist while Sebastian's head pillowed on Hawke's chest. Sebastian was pratically half draped over Hawke's body and Hawke was quite enjoying to cuddle Sebastian.

They both seemed to be still unawares of their surroundings or to be exact they were still unconscious about how intimate the position they were in virtually. It was just a matter of time until one of them was wide awake and began to freak out over it.

Hawke was the first who awaked. It was surprising since Hawke was not a morning person's morover since he stopped being a runaway and got himself a nice mansion also a nice bed. He didn't fond to wake before the sun was high on the sky. Only important missions and the matters with his family or at least the peoples who he liked were the only exceptions.

* * *

**_Garrett's POV_**

It was warm and comfy. The way he liked it. He didn't want to wake up just yet. He wanted to sleep and cuddling with his strangely breathing pillows more! It was a rare night without nightmares for him after all. So, he wanted to enjoy it when it was last. But, those damn sun's rays was bothering him. It hit him right on the eyes. He was annoyed and starting to think about giving Orana a little talk to why she didn't pull over his curtains last night.

"Agh..." He groaned in annoyance as he opened his eyes and immediately was attacked by a headache. He winced a little and began to swear under his breath. He then tried to get up but something was holding him down. Oh, right, his pillow! He wanted to move over the pillow but he was shocked when his gaze met with Sebastian's sleeping face.

"What the...? For Andraste's holy tits! Sebastian?! Why? How?" He began to panic and screak like a frightened bird. But despite how loud his voice was, thankfully it didn't affected Sebastian because Sebastian was still sleeping soundly like a log. He then tried to retrieve back his memories about last night, but none came. He could just vaguely remember that he had spent half his day in the Blooming Rose, drinking and playing. After that, he could not find anything related to him being on the same bed with Sebastian.

"Did we had sex last night...?" He questioned himself. He knew that Sebastian was an attractive and handsome man but he also knew that he had no chance with him. Sebastian was a chantry boy and he was as straight as his arrows . So, it was impossible for both of them to form a term like having sex, right? He just hoped so. Because, he would be damned if he made another mistake with sleeping with one of his party members once again.

First, he slept with Anders but felt bad after that because Fenris was the one who he truly desired. So, he dumped Anders and tried hard to win Fenris over. It seemed that his efforts to woo Fenris were paid over. He made love to Fenris that night but then Fenris's damn past was coming back to him so Fenris then decided to leave him. He was starting to think that maybe it was such a payback for him because he dumped Anders. But, he shook his head and choosed to think about the situation he was faced in right now instead of thinking back about his past lovers and his failures in romance.

"Hmm... he was fully clothed although this time he wore a chantry robes instead of his usual attires." He was talking to himself as he checked Sebastian's over. He was at least a bit relieved when he saw Sebastian was not naked. Then he checked himself but afterwards he became confused because he didn't remember changing his clothes last night. He frowned and turned to send Sebastian a suspicious looks.

"Did Sebastian...oh...damn...it's embarrassing..." He moaned and cursing loudly as he imagined when the time Sebastian was changing his clothes last night. Sebastian had seen him naked! Not that he was ugly or something like that. But, he just felt that it was something private that not everyone could see him naked everyday so he just felt it right to be embarrassed.

"Uhn..." Sebastian was stirring lightly when he was still cursing and moaning about the embarassment of being naked. He froze and turned to check on Sebastian. Thankfully Sebastian was still sleeping. Sebastian probably only trying to find a better position to sleep. He let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding and gazed back at Sebastian's sleeping face just to make sure that the man was indeed still sleeping.

He then decided to leave Sebastian when the man was still sleeping. It was safer that way and it was also the only way possible to avoid any misunderstanding between them. But, somehow he was mesmerize by Sebastian's gorgeous face. And what enticing him more was Sebastian's red full lips. It looked soft and kissable. He wanted to lick and nibble on it. It tempting him to try and taste it. So, without so much as a thought about the result of his action, he leaned in closer to Sebastian's face and planted his lips softly on Sebastian's lips.

But, it was not enough. He wanted something more! He then put his hand on Sebastian's chin and pry open Sebastian's lips gently so he could sneak his tongue inside. He traced Sebastian's teeth with his tongue while his hand stroked Sebastian's chest seductively. It seemed that Sebastian was beginning to respond to him unconsciously. Sebastian now moaning and writhing under him. Sebastian also kissing him back and he could feel him began to harden just by kissing Sebastian.

He felt good, Sebastian tasted amazing. He could also feel that he was not the only one who was hard as a rock. Sebastian was hard like himself. He began to wonder if Sebastian was actually still sleeping and he was just believed that it was all only a dream or was he truly awake? He didn't give a damn about all of that. He only cared about his need for a release because it was starting to suffocate him. He then repositioned himself on top of Sebastian so they were now hip to hip, groin to groin. He grind both of their erections together while he sucked on Sebastian's pale neck. Sebastian was moaning loudly now. It was kind of erotic in his ears and he wanted to hear that as many as possible so he was now sucking at Sebastian's Adam apple while he was still rubbing his erection on Sebastian's.

He was now thinking to get Sebastian naked. He wanted to see Sebastian naked. So, he began the process to disrobe Sebastian, but unfortunately when he was just about to do that, Sebastian's eyes flew open. At first Sebastian was staring at him groggily and he stared back at Sebastian blankly. Then it seemed as if Sebastian's brain finally starting to work, he could guess what really happened and he began to panic. He pushed him hard until he was falling down from the bed to the cold floors below.

" Maker! What are you doing, Hawke? So...so...it's not a dream?!" Sebastian was yelling at him. He got up from the bed quickly and regarding him with a disappointed looks and disbelief. It made him felt bad and guilty.

"How could you?! I thought you better than that! I am your friend, Hawke! You're crushing my trust on you!" Sebastian was yelling at him again. Sebastian's face was red both with anger and embarrassment. He could do nothing to defend himself. He knew that he was the one to blame, but his mouth was betraying him. It was as if his mouth has its own mind and before he could prevent it, he was already saying something that only angered Sebastian more.

" You enjoy it too!" Damn! Why could he say something rude like that? Sebastian looked to be shock to hear it. He gave him a nasty looks and his face contorted in disgust toward him.

"I am leaving, Hawke. I do not know that you're capable of taking advantage from a sleeping man. Maybe, helping you was my grave mistake. I should just leave you alone on the street so you'll be the one who's feeling humiliated not mine." Sebastian was not yelling at him anymore but it was worse. Sebastian was saying those words with a pained tone and he looked at him with a sad, hurtful eyes. Sebastian then casting him a last low glance before he left him feeling like a biggest asshole in Thedas.

"What have I done?! Damn it!" He cried out in distress. If he had more control of his desire then all of this would never happened in the first place. But, then he could never had a taste of Sebastian's . It was intoxicating and addicting.

"What am I thinking about?!" He yelled angrily when his mind still wander over the incident with Sebastian on the bed and what would happened if Sebastian was not waking up. It made him realise that he was still a hard on to take care of. But, it felt wrong to...ahem...take care his problem after he received Sebastian's anger and disappointment so maybe he could just taking a cold bath.

"A cold bath it is." He sighed and standing up from the floors. He then began to think of a better way to beg of Sebastian's forgiveness while he took his bath. Sebastian must be really angry at him. He was just hoping that Sebastian would not be planning to tell their friends about this incident. If they knew...especially if Fenris knew...just thinking about that made him felt uneasy. He didn't want to think it further then.

"What should I do? Maker! If my brain was in its rightful place in my head rather than in my groin, all of this would never happening! It's your fault!" He scowled and pointing his finger at his junior.

"Master? Are you awake?" When he was still blaming and throwing tantrums at his cock, Bodahn was calling him.

"Yes, Bodahn! I am awake!" He called back as he fastening his robes quickly.

"Master, Messerre Fenris is here! He want to see you." Bodahn informed him. He was surprised to hear that Fenris was visiting him this morning.

"Tell him to wait me in the dining room's. We'll have a breakfast together." He told Bodahn. He was curious as well nervous to find the reason of Fenris's unexpected visit. Did Sebastian told Fenris already? Did they encountered with each other outside? But, that was too fast. Sebastian had left for about thirty minutes. Was it possible for Sebastian to meet with Fenris when he had just left his mansion? He shook his head and reassured himself that it was all impossible to happen.

"Yes, Master. I'll tell Orana to make a breakfast for two then." With that Bodahn left to do his task.

"For Maker's holy cock! It's a wonderful way to start a morning!" He grumbled and cursing as he prepared himself to meet with Fenris. All the problems with Sebastian he pushed aside for a while. For now he just wanted to have a breakfast with Fenris and he was hoping that Fenris's prescence would comfort him later.

**_To be continue..._**

**_A/N : Please read & review! I need your opinions of this story. And I am also sorry for grammar errors. Still searching for a beta. Thanks.  
_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 03**

**_Fenris POV's_**

Fenris was waiting impatiently for Hawke to make his appearance in the Hawke's dining room's. He grumbled and shifted uncomfortably on his chair. He was starting to think that Hawke was actually didn't want to meet with him. The very thought of it made his stomach clenched painfully. He would be damned if Hawke refused to meet with him. He missed the man although he didn't want to admit it but the separation for a few days from Hawke was such a torture for him.

Hawke didn't know that he had just went back from his trip to collect the information about his sister whereabouts. And as soon as he just got back to Kirkwall this morning, he then instantly went to visit Hawke. He longed to see the bearded man. He missed him so much that it felt as if he was dying if he couldn't see and touch him. Although he knew that he still owed Hawke some explanation about that night and not to mention that he still needed to stop pretending that nothing happened between them if he wanted to be truly with Hawke.

But, there was this urgent matters with his lost sister. He wanted to make sure that she was still breathing and living somewhere safer that was hopefully not in Tevinter. So, maybe he could just keep pretending to be friends with Hawke although it just made his heart aches especially when that Abomination, Anders, was always trying to get back to Hawke. He was only hoping that Hawke still lo...interested enough in him so that he would not trying to find comfort in the arms of another.

"ris...Fenris...FENRIS!" Someone was calling his name and it snapped him out of his musings. He jumped up and turned to the source of the voice. It was Hawke and he looked to be amused at something.

"What?!" He growled at Hawke, angry at being caught off guard.

"Nothing. You're just cute when you broods and it's funny to see you all jumpy like that." Hawke was smirking at him now. He hated those smirks and the fact that Hawke was trying to made fun of him only agravated him more.

"I am NOT cute! What took you so damn long anyway?!" He growled again as he contemplated to punch Hawke's smirking face.

"Well...uh...ah...grooming myself?" Hawke offered sheepishly. He knew that Hawke was hiding something because Hawke turned nervous and tried to avoid his penetrating gaze.

"What are you? A maiden?" He sneered at Hawke who was then blushing slightly.

"Ah...that's not...um...Fenris...ah...do you happen to meet with Sebastian on your way here?" Hawke turned the conversation over by asking him about Sebastian. It only got him more curious.

'Why was Hawke suddenly interested in Sebastian?' He thought briefly and wondered if something was actually happening between Hawke and Sebastian when he was away. If something of importance was really taking place between Hawke and Sebastian, he needed to know what was it. He didn't like it when he had left in the dark especially when it was related to Hawke.

"Sebastian? Why about him?" He asked Hawke suspiciously.

"Um, nothing. I am just asking. That's all." Hawke shrugged and acting ignorant but the expression on Hawke's face said otherwise. Hawke was worried over something but he didn't had any idea what was it that made Hawke worry.

"You're acting strange, Hawke. Tell me why you want to know if I meet with him or not?" He was getting irritated now by Hawke who tried to avoid answering his question. Why was it so hard for Hawke to tell him if there was nothing at all that transpired between Hawke and Sebastian?

"Maker! Fenris, I am asking you because I want to talk with Sebastian about our mission. I expect him to come this morning so I ask you if you happen to meet with him on your way here. That's it!" Hawke cried out and turned his back on him so he couldn't see Hawke's face clearly. But, he knew that Hawke was lying to him. It seemed that it was not such a waste to be living under Danarius for years. It made him able to mark off between truth and lies.

"What mission? I didn't get any news from both of you and Varric about some missions lately. Surely, you don't try to expell me from the party, do you?" He asked Hawke sarcastically. If he remembered it better, there were no missions to take after Leandra's death. So, what mission that Hawke implied actually?

"It's just about Starkhaven or something like that. Sebastian asking me for help but I don't know about what. So, let's forget about all of this nonsense, alright? It's nothing. I swear to you, Fenris." Hawke turned to face him. Hawke's face hardened a little and he was now glaring at him as if he was daring him to cross him.

" If you say so. Well, it's none of my bussiness anyway." He shrugged off and let it be like Hawke wanted. He tried not to show Hawke that it was actually hurting him to see Hawke all defensive like that toward him. It felt as if Hawke didn't trust him.

Well, what was he thinking? He was an ex-slave after all. Hawke should not be with him in the first place. It was all wrong from the beginning. He was no match for Hawke. So, why it was hurting him so much? He should mind his own business. He was nothing to Hawke. He was just an elf and an used ex-slave at that. He should knew his position better.

"Fenris..." Hawke's voice softened and he didn't realize before that he had turned his back on Hawke. So, he was a little bit surprise when Hawke grabbed his arm and steered him gently to face him.

"No...no...Hawke...you're right...I..." Hawke didn't let him to finish his sentence because Hawke suddenly pulled him into his arms. He was struggling at first to get himself free from Hawke's warm embrace but he missed Hawke too much. He could do nothing but to give in and let Hawke envelope him in his warmth.

It was like heaven to be in Hawke's arms and it made him forgetting about all of his pain even though it was just for a while. But, it was more than enough for him and without him realize it, he was now crying silently on Hawke's chest.

"Ssshh...Fenris...I am sorry...I assure you that it is nothing of importance...Please, don't cry..." Hawke tried to soothe him. It was so embarassing to be seen crying in front of Hawke. He was not some damn women who always paws around Hawke. He needed to stop! Crying was stupid and made him looks weak! He was not a weak elf! He had succeed to escape from Danarius's clutch and lived by himself for all this time! So, why was he crying over something trivial like this?

"Let me go..." He pushed Hawke and put a safe distance between him and Hawke. He wiped his eyes roughly but Hawke stopped him. Hawke caught his hand and he tried to remove it but Hawke only tightened his hold on him. He growled and sent an angry warning at Hawke but the man was ignoring him. On the contrary, Hawke had leaned in and before he knew it, Hawke was now kissing him. He was too shocked by the sudden event that he could do nothing but let the man devour his mouth.

"Mmm..." When he was finally over his shock, he kissed Hawke back. He couldn't hold his desire any longer. He wanted to kiss Hawke as long as it was possible but a need for breath couldn't be ignore. So, they broke apart when the needs for breath was just too much for both of them. They both panting and looking at each other with hungry eyes. He wanted more and it seemed that Hawke wanted it too but the image of his sister suddenly flashes on his mind. It made him stop and took a hold on himself quickly.

" Let's we forget about all of...this...affair...Forget it that you've seen me crying...and...let's forget about this whole kissing..." Pain was crossing across Hawke's face when he was asked to overlook about our kiss. He knew that he had hurting Hawke once more but he couldn't help it, they would not be able to live together as long as Danarius still alive.

He needed to kill the Magister first. He also needed to find his sister and later he needed to make sure that Hawke truly wanted him for who he was not only Hawke had found him to be attractive. So, before all of that were clear, he needed to keep a distance with Hawke even though it was hurting them both.

"I understand...Uh, what about you take a break from your feast with me this morning?" Hawke smiled at him although his smile didn't even reached his eyes. He shook his head in negative as he tried to ignore a slight ache in his heart when he looked at Hawke's pained face. Hawke looked like a kick puppy right now and it was because of him. He wanted to hit himself for any pain that he gave to Hawke. If only his life was simpler, he would be happy to be with Hawke without thinking twice.

"Yes, thank you, Hawke. But, I...think that I still owe Isabella a visit. So, any other times then?" He smiled back at Hawke as he declined Hawke's offer for a breakfast with him. He was actually lying at Hawke. He didn't had any business with Isabella right now. He only wanted to be away from Hawke for a while because after that kiss he wasn't sure if he could be able to act casually toward Hawke or just simply be in the same room's with Hawke.

"I...ah...of course...later then...Fenris..." Hawke nodded his head and turned his back on him. He watched Hawke took a seat on the head of the table and smiled sadly when Hawke slowly took an empty plate in front of him and began to fill it with foods. Hawke looked lonely.

If only Leandra still alive...or maybe if Hawke just simply took Anders's offer to live with him instead of trying to romance him...Hawke wouldn't be alone like right now. But, the very thought of Hawke with someone else other than himself had upset him. He decided not to think about it further and took his leave from Hawke's mansion.

* * *

_**Normal POV's**_

"Maker...Please forgive me...For I've sinned..."

"Sebastian?! What are you doing? It's past noon! You haven't eaten anything since you've come back! Please, open this door or else I'll bring the Grand Cleric here to drag you out from your room's!"

"Sister Sarah! Please lowering your voice!"

"What? But, sister Hannah, Sebastian..."

"What about him?"

"Your Grace!"

"Hm? What about him?"

"He's not coming out from his room's since he's back this early morning. We're worried, Your Grace."

"Fear not sisters, I'll try to talk with him later. For now, let's leave him alone."

"Yes, Your Grace."

"We'll be back, Sebastian..."

_**To be continue...**_

_**A/N : Okay, a bit weird is it? Um, I don't know what to do but I need some reviews so I can keep going to write another chappy. I kinda feel that my story is not good enough if you don't give me any review. Thanks.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N : This chapter would not be done without the help from my dearest friend, I-lov3-drells, thank you so much my friend._

**Chapter 04**

_**Garrett's POVs**_

It's been over a week since the incident with Sebastian and since then every day he visits the Chantry just to talk with Sebastian, he would avoid him by sending his brothers or sisters to tell him he was busy or simply hiding from Garrett until he had left the Chantry with annoyance.

He knew that he was the one at fault and he wanted to apologize about his indecent feats toward Sebastian, but how could he do that if Sebastian didn't even want to see him? It felt as if he had committed the greatest sin in Thedas while in fact he just did what every normal man would be doing when they see a gorgeous creature lying innocently in front of them. They would want to ravish Sebastian like he did.

So, it was not entirely his fault or was it? Because, he didn't even know why Sebastian had ended up on his bed in the first place. Bodahn only told him that Sebastian had helped him to get back home safely when he was drunk but Bodahn didn't even know about the whole Sebastian sleeping together scenarios. He could only remember it vaguely that he indeed went to the Chantry after he got bored in the Blooming Rose, so it could be accepted if Sebastian was the one who helped him considering that he was living in the Chantry. But after that he couldn't remember anything.

This entire affair with Sebastian was already getting on his nerves and to make matters worse Sebastian was acting like a defiled lady. It was as if Garrett had raped him when in fact Sebastian seemed to enjoy it too! Sebastian moaning and writhing wantonly under him was a perfect example that even though he was still half asleep he liked what Garrett was doing to him.

It was not like Sebastian couldn't feel Garrett's beard tickling him when he had been kissed. Surely Sebastian was not dreaming about kissing a girl with his beard rubbing him on the face. From what he heard Sebastian was also not a heavy sleeper, so he wondered why it took him so long to open his pretty eyes and pushed him away.

That made him questioning about Sebastian's sexual orientation. Was Sebastian truly straight or did he just act like one while in fact he thirst for a man's touch? If Sebastian was straight, it was acceptable if he was getting freak out and hating Garrett for touching him. But if he was gay and he thought that he was, that would be a real problem for him. He was afraid that Sebastian would end up like Anders, a replacement for Fenris. He didn't want to do that again. He didn't want to hurt someone else feelings again because he knew that it hurts more than anything.

"Serrah Hawke?" Someone said to him while he was deep in thought it was one of the sisters that had approached him. She had a dark hair and a pretty young face. Garrett guessed that she was still in her late teens like around Sebastian's age maybe younger. She walked closer to where he was standing near the Chantry's doors and took a safe distance away from his. She smiled at him politely and he smiled back at her in return.

"It's me." He answered her shortly as he crossed his arms on his chest and waited for her to tell him a message from Sebastian. He knew that she was one of Sebastian's couriers and she was probably been sent to deliver the same messages like every other day from Sebastian saying that he was too busy thus he couldn't meet up with him. Yes, he was pretty sure about it. He then thought that Sebastian was actually not a creative kind of guy. Really, he seriously needed to think about making another excuse!

"Um, I'm Sister Sarah, I just want to tell you that..." He cut her words quickly before she could say the same boring excuse about Sebastian not being able to meet up with him because he was too been busy.

"His busy right? Okay, I understand. Please tell him that I'll wait here. Even though I end up camping in the Chantry just to have a little moment to talk to him, then I'll do just that." He told her firmly but not to harshly. She looked taken back by his words but slowly schooled her expression back to a fake calm like every Brother and Sister in the Chantry.

"That's a little extreme, don't you think? He's been really busy for the past few weeks so if you've something important to tell him, you can trust me with it." Her tone changed into a sharp one and he didn't like it when people were talking to him that way, so he moved closer to her and turned his posture to look a little intimidating. It made her take a few steps back and sent him a nervous gaze. It seemed that she got the message that he didn't take it to kindly when people were trying to mess with him.

"It's not and I know pretty well that his NOT that busy. So, it's up to you whether you go get him for me or I'll go get him myself and trust me if it's up to me that would be a little bit messy." He told her in a barely restrained anger. She gulped at his hard threatening voice as he sneered at her. He knew that he was being mean but right now he was feeling to irritated to care much. He only wanted to clear out any misunderstanding with Sebastian soon enough so he could be sleeping well at night. He was finally fed up with all of his excuses and he had no patience anymore so he would see Sebastian today one way or another.

"I...I'll tell the Grand Cleric about all of this!" She yelled to him in an answer and then she was running away quickly before he could shoot her in the back. He growled in annoyance at her immaturity and kicked a wall behind him in frustration. The guard eying him curiously as the group of walking Sisters gave him their disapproval looks his way. He ignored them and decided to step inside the Chantry. He had been waiting long enough and if he must wait any longer then he was at least do it inside the Chantry where he could take a seat on the Chantry's bench because his legs already aching from standing too long outside.

"Damn you to hell, Sebastian! I swear that I'll force you out if you refuse to see me today!" He cursed under his breath as he made his way towards the back rows of the Chantry's bench. He plopped himself down on the bench and decided to take a little nap while he waited for Sebastian to show up. He hadn't had enough sleep last night so maybe a brief nap wouldn't kill him. He just hoping that he wouldn't really need to camp inside the Chantry because the bench was not that comfortable to sleep on.

_**Sebastian's POVs**_

Hawke had come to see him again. It's been like that for more over than a week and he's wondering when the right time for the mage is to finally give up on trying to see him. That's not his intention to give Hawke the cold shoulder but he's just not ready to meet him just yet. He's still feeling embarrassed for what happened back then at his mansion. He shouldn't be over reacting for something that he was actually enjoying and the cause of it in the first place. If only he didn't yield to his desire to be that close to Hawke and sleeping on the same bed with him, then this issue wouldn't exist and he wouldn't be scared that his secret would be revealed anytime soon.

He sighed for the umpteenth time that day as he tried to put his mind into the scroll that he was reading at the time. It was not working because his mind still went to Garrett and his problem at hand. He missed the man but he was also afraid to see Garrett. He didn't know how to react in front of him after what happened between the two of them. He couldn't trust himself to act casual toward him after he had tasted Garrett's wonderful touches on him. So, it's best if he didn't see the man for a while. Maybe with time his feelings toward Garrett would vanish itself and then he could concentrate on his duties as a Chantry brother more seriously.

When he was finally able to put his mind into the scroll, there was a knock on his door. He groaned in a little annoyance and put the scroll on the table. He got up from his chair and walked to open the door.

"Who is it?" He asked the person behind the door before he opened the door. He waited for a second before a familiar feminine voice answered.

"It's me, Sarah. Open the door, Sebastian. I need to tell you something of importance." He opens the door quickly for her. She nodded to him as he allowed her to come inside his room. He closed the door and followed her inside. She took a seat on a chair beside his bed as he preferred to stand a few feet away from her.

"What is it, Sister? You look troubled. What happened? How it go with Hawke?" He asked her worriedly because he could see that something was bothering her and he believed that it was something to do with Hawke. She then gave him an irritated look and grumbled something inaudible under her breath before she took a deep breath and answered his question.

"I can't believe it, Sebastian, that you could be friends with someone so barbaric like him! I just tell him that you're busy but he doesn't want to understand it and then he's all growling and acting intimidating to me! He's also threatening me to go get you for him! That's atrocious and I'll tell the Grand Cleric about it!" She ranted angrily as in the process she got up unconsciously from her seat.

"Listen, Sebastian, I don't know what your problem is with him, but it's better if you solve it quickly. He's dangerous and I don't want something bad to happen when you're with him. I'm finished here. Geez...if it turns out to be like this, I didn't want to be your messenger when you ask me next time. Now, please excuse me." She continued as Sebastian listened to her rants and complains about Hawke patiently. He could feel himself getting a bit offended when she talked bad about Hawke even though he didn't know why he was feeling like that.

"Sister, please wait! Please, don't tell Grand Cleric Ethina about Hawke. He didn't mean to treat you rudely like that. I know him. He's just frustrated. So, please don't tell Grand Cleric about this event." He stopped her quickly when she was about to walk out from his room. He didn't understand why he felt a need to defend Hawke but he knew that it wasn't entirely Hawke faults if the man did something out of ordinary. He knew there was more than what Sister Sarah had told him. She probably had offended Hawke or maybe Hawke just simply irritated. Whatever the reason was, he knew that he was the main cause of all of it.

"I won't promise you anything, Sebastian. But, I'll try although he upset me so." She turned to face him and he could see that she was really upset with Hawke but he trust her not to tell Grand Cleric Ethina.

"Thank you, Sister." He thanked her and offered her a grateful smile. She shook her head and turned around to walk to the door.

"Oh, one more thing, Sebastian, he's still waiting for you. If you don't want to see him at all then I'll call the guards to kick him out from the Chantry." She told Sebastian but this time she didn't turn her back to face him.

"What? Uh, please don't do that. I...I'll go see him today." He replied nervously. Even though he was very reluctant to see Hawke but he didn't want to get Hawke in trouble with the guards. So, it may be best if he just went to see him.

"Very well. Please, excuse me." She pushed open the door and stepped outside from his room. She was about to close it back when suddenly a pale wrinkle hand had shot up from behind her and prevented her to close the door.

"Sebastian's inside, right Sister?" She was very surprised when she turned around and came face to face with the Grand Cleric herself. She stared at her in shock and unable to form a word for a while until she snapped out of her shock and try to answer her.

"Seb...Sebastian..." She was about to tell her that indeed Sebastian was right inside his room when suddenly Sebastian made his appearance. All two pairs of eyes instantly focused on Sebastian.

"You're Grace." He greeted her politely. He had heard her when she asked Sister Sarah about him so he wasn't as surprised as Sister Sarah although her unexpected visit was still a surprise for him.

"You can go, Sister. I need to talk with Sebastian." She told Sister Sarah as she glanced briefly at Sebastian.

"Of course, you're Grace. Please excuse me." Sister Sarah nodded obediently and took her leave.

"Sebastian, can I come inside? We need to talk." Grand Cleric Ethina asked Sebastian in a firm voice which didn't give any room to refuse her request.

"Oh, yes, please do come inside, Your Grace." He stepped aside to let her come inside his room. She then walked passed him as he closed the door and followed her to take a seat on the chair beside her. She tilted her head so she could face him while Sebastian waited for her to begin the conversation.

"Sebastian, I heard about Hawke's daily visits to the Chantry just to be able to meet with you. Is that true?" She cleared her throat and began to questioning him. She raised her eyebrows when she saw him flushing and fidgeting nervously on his seat.

"It is true, you're Grace. He's here in the Chantry at this moment." He answered her question truthfully because it was no use to lie to her about what's going on around the Chantry although he couldn't help but be nervous when the subject of Hawke had been brought up by the Grand Cleric herself. He was afraid that she already knew something fishy had been transpired between him and Hawke. It would only jeopardize his status as a Chantry Brother for sure if she knew about his real feelings toward Hawke.

"Oh? Then why don't you go to see him?" She asked again as she observed him with a sharp eyes. It made him felt uneasy to be under her penetrating gaze. It felt as if she could see directly through his soul.

"I...can't...I..." He didn't know how to answer to her question without blurting out his real reason not to see the man. He averted his eyes from her calculating eyes and wanted nothing more than to flee from her presence.

"Two weeks from now, you'll be renewing your vows to the Maker, Sebastian. Have you known about this news already?" He was surprised when she steered the subject to another direction and he did knew it already about the news but he seemed to forgotten it. He cursed inside his head about his carelessness although he was also confused about the sudden change of subject from her and not to mention that she brought up the subject about the renewal of his vows out of nowhere.

"Pardon me? Why do you ask such a thing so suddenly, Your Grace? We're talking about Hawke, remember?" He asked sarcastically as he looked at her curiously. Sometimes she just never ceases to amaze him. She always thought ahead from everyone else's but sometimes that only made them confused and left them feeling like a complete fool. So, he usually likes to question her back just to make sure that he was catching it right.

"You've been upset since the morning you've come back from Hawke's mansion. At first I didn't understand what made you so upset and you're also refusing to tell us about what has bothered you actually. So, I let it go for a while but the constant worried fussing from the Sisters who care for you had pushed me to seek an answer from the Maker." She paused briefly as she took a look for Sebastian's reaction and she saw that he was becoming paler and he looked ready to faint. So, she reached for his hand and gave him a comforting squeeze to let him know that it was no need to be afraid. He shook his head and squeezed her hand back as he urged her to continue. She smiled at him before she continued with her words.

"HE gave me this vision of you and Hawke on the same bed. You two..."

"Stop it, please. Maker! This is so embarrassing." He interrupted her before she could say something more embarrassing about what the two of them did that morning. He covered his face with his hands as he was to ashamed to even glance at her.

"Sebastian, child it's alright to love another man." She said softly as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

"Serrah Hawke is a good man. I knew his mother since she's a babe and I trust her son's to be the same like her. If you make a choice and choose to be with him and I will not stand on your way." She continued as she gave him an encouraging smiles.

"But, Grand Cleric, I'm a brother of the Chantry! I should not have these desires to be with anyone. The Maker should be enough for me. I do not know what to do."

"Do what you think is right in your heart, Sebastian. Some of the brothers and sisters are just not made to live in solitude for the rest of your lives. And I believe you are one of them. The Maker will understand. He does not view love as a sin." She slowly stood up and walked towards the door but before she open it, she said one last thing to him.

"Go and talk to him,Sebastian. I believe that he has the same feeling for you as you do for him. Why else would he show up everyday and demand to see you? Once you talk to him, please think back about what I said before. Then, I'll expect your answer before you renew your brother ship. Have a good day, Sebastian." She turned around and gave him a small bow before she turned the knob of the door and stepped out from his room.

"Thank you, your Grace." He whispered to her before she left the room. The reassurance and caring words from Ethina were enough to give him a courage to face Hawke. He then walked to the mirror and fixed his hair a little. He blushed when he realised what he's doing but he quickly shook his head and convinced himself that he was not trying to groom himself to impress Hawke.

"Breathe, Sebastian, you can do this." He mumbled to himself as he walked to the door and opened it slowly. He stepped out and closed the door. He was more than ready now to face Hawke after his little chat with Ethina.

Tbc...


End file.
